I'm here for the Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian drama

I'm here for the Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian drama.

Tags : pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian, pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian Drama, pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian love angle, pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian couple,

It's not merely Pete Davidson’s New York, it’s Pete Davidson’s America — and we’re all just living in it.

On paper, Pete Davidson is a comedian. He performs stand-up, appears on Comedy Central roasts, and shows up periodically on Saturday Night Live, where he shivers his way through “Weekend Update” monologues that are mostly about how much Staten Island hates him. I like Pete as a comedian, sure; his last movie was pretty good, and he remains a good counterbalance to Michael Che, whose anti-trans jokes are as boring as they are unfunny. But the context where he really thrives — this specter-like Dennis the Menace, this hipster Babadook, this sexy, slouching, shapeless tuft of sea salt mist — is as a strange yet perfect celebrity oddity.

The last time I wrote about Pete, it was the summer of 2018. We were innocent then: Davidson was a relatively new name in our collective celebrity consciousness, his then-girlfriend Ariana Grande kept looking at him as if he were a Dum Dums sucker that she wanted to crack in half with her wisdom teeth, and it seemed everyone had an opinion on the exciting if perplexing energy radiating from his narrow pelvic girdle. But now, god, we are so old: Pete and Ariana are no more (who could’ve imagined that a woodland nymph and the boy from your eighth-grade class who turned apples into bongs at lunch would not last), Pete’s relationships have remained high profile if less frequently Instagrammed (Phoebe Dynevor, Kate Beckinsale, Margaret Qualley), and he’s been sloughing off all those glorious tattoos that make him look like the underside of a driver’s ed desk. He’s becoming serious, I guess — more movie roles and less personal drama. Honestly, it’s a shame: Hollywood has enough funny-but-sad actors, but what we really need is a straight-up weirdo.

But then he gave us a gift over Halloween weekend. There he was, holding hands with Kim Kardashian West, our generation’s Cher (do with that what you will), in photos that they must have known would soon become public. I had a lot of hopes and dreams for 2021, especially after over a year of worrying about the future, feeling increasingly certain that I would never experience raw, unbridled joy again. What I did not have on my vision board was Kimberly Kardashian West and Peter Michael Davidson perhaps taking each other to a sexy catacomb to boneyard it up while we all watched, unsure whe2ther we wanted this or not. (Turns out, we did. We did.)

Look, I am very sick, and I love Pete’s whole creepy-crawly vibe. I don’t know why! I’m just as disturbed by it as you are! But I cannot possibly be alone. Maybe it’s time for all of us to accept the truth — that the best version of Pete’s celebrity is so messy and bizarre that you can’t help but root for him. I’ll watch him as he becomes a prestigious dramedy actor, which somehow already feels inevitable, but the more he grows up, the more I will miss his romantic anarchy. At least he still looks like a Gen Z Edward Scissorhands who I would pay to just splice me into pieces.

I don’t actually think these two are dating. I think they’re two of the most shrewd attention-getters in modern American culture, which I offer as a profound compliment. They’re likely connected not just through Kim’s recent SNL appearance, but also through the emo ghouls Pete hangs out with — Machine Gun Kelly, who is friends with Travis Barker, who is now engaged to Least Interesting To Look At Kardashian Sister™ Kourtney. This probably isn’t an earnest love connection, but rather the linking of two geniuses who know that a tremendous amount of harmless, delightful, free press will come their way if they just hold hands. Even once.

It only took a few photos at a haunted house for Page Six to breathlessly report that Kim was recently in “Pete Davidson’s native NYC,” as if that’s the only thing New York could possibly offer. The city should change its tourism slogan. “I ❤️ NYC” had a good run, but by the spring, I hope to see stalls in Times Square selling shirts that say “A RAT TOUCHED MY BARE LEG IN PETE DAVIDSON’S NEW YORK CITY!”

But just because I don’t think they’re dating doesn’t mean that I don’t desperately want the rumors to be true, with every fiber of my being.

It’s just such a bad idea, this pairing, sure to be a loud, public, ugly disaster. They are a perfect awful couple, just like Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox, or Kourtney and Travis. It would be two people who do not seem to operate in the real world whatsoever, dating like mere mortals. You want that too, even if you can’t admit it. You’re not above this, you’re not better than this, and you’re not too cool to derive pleasure from the most aggressively lawless celebrity pairing since Pete and Ariana. (She released a song that was just...his name! Then she broke up with him!!! IT’S PRACTICALLY CAMP.)

I'm here for the Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian drama.

Tags : pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian, pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian Drama, pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian love angle, pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian couple,

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